Bea
by Feathoron
Summary: Bea, an Orken, is banished from her home world, Ork Irk's moon, and sent to live with an Irken, Zim. Zim has been told that she is an evil death weapon.A Work in Progress, More Chapters to Be Added.


Bea   
Prologue

"Bea? Bea!" the headmistress of horticulture shrieked, "How could you?"  
"I didn't mean to, miss, it's just that... that..."  
"I don't care! You _killed_ them! **KILLED THEM!** What are you, some kind of Invader! Killing the innocent!"  
"But... you see..."  
"No "but"s! The High One will find your punishment."  
"PLEASE!" Bea groveled in front of the headmistress.  
Bea gulped. It was hard enough dealing with the mistress of horticulture, much less the Highest. Truth be told, she had never met the Highest, but she had heard the scariest things: stories of banishment and... she shuddered. She tried not to think about it.  
It wasn't her fault. Just about everything she touched died. That wasn't a good thing if you were Orken. Orkens inhabited the third Irken moon. They looked like Irkens, but had milk white skin and large blue eyes. Personality wise, though, they were completely different. Irkens were war-like creatures, invading and conquering all that they could. Orkens were pacifists who only had three professions: Plant growing, baking, and healing. The Irkens would have conquered the peace-loving Orkens by now if they hadn't needed the medicial help of the Orkens. Imagine how horrible it would be if one of the Tallest had a stomach ache and there were no Orken healers! The Highest was the Orken equal of the Tallest. Although the Orkens were pacifists, the Highest was supposed to be ruthless. Bea was frightened.  
She walked sadly down the hall with the head of horticulture. The Head was screaming about "Murder most Foul!" and "Off with her head!" They finally reached the end of the corridor and were standing next to the giant marble door that led to the Highest's chambers. Bea sighed as she opened the door. She was doomed.  
"Your greatness," the headmistress bowed very low and polite. **"SHE IS A MURDERER!"** She completely dropped her manners. "Now, now..." The Highest walked towards Bea, her cool white skin reflecting the corridor's light, "What has she done now?"  
_Now?_ So the Highest knew. This wasn't the first time that Bea had gotten in trouble. First, she almost killed one of the Tallest when she was practicing to be a healer. She was also a failure as a baker. The oven exploded on her at least five times. The one time that she had baked something successfully without an explosion or ashes, her cookies sent three people to the healer's ward with fourth degree burns (and you thought that they couldn't get that serious...). Now... well...  
**"SHE KILLED ALL OF MY PANSIES! MURDERER!"**  
The Highness looked at the Headmistress, "Let me get this straight, she killed your _flowers_ and you want me to banish her?"  
"Precisely."  
The Highness looked from the headmistress to Bea and then burst out laughing. "Flowers? This is about flowers?"  
"She cannot go unpunished!"  
"And why not?" The Highest was unimpressed.  
"Orken Law states that anyone who fails the three arts of Ork, baking, healing, and growing, is to be banished from the moon of Ork."  
The Highest looked sadly at the young Orken, "She's right, you know, Bea. Normally, failures are sent to Irk to leave, but in your case, I think that the Tallest can send you to a far off planet called Earth."  
"WHY?" Bea asked. "I'll be good, I promise!" she begged, "Please... don't make me go!"  
"Come now, Bea, it's not that bad. There's even an Invader living on Earth. You won't be alon..." "AN INVADER! No PLEASE!"  
"I'm sorry, Bea, but the law is the law. Pack your bags, you're going to Earth!"

-------------------

Chapter 1

"Taco!"  
"Gir, I don't have any tacos..." Zim groaned. As if Gir wasn't random enough, his voice clip had broken; the only thing that he could say was, "Taco."  
"Zim?" Red and Purple had appeared on the screen. Red sipped a smoothie. Purple explained, "There is an Orken coming to stay with you."  
"An Orken? You mean those happy, dancing white guys!" Zim cried. Could this day get any worse?  
"Zim, this Orken is... um..." Purple searched for words.  
"Special," Red finished.  
"What do you mean?"  
Red was stumped, too, "She is... a... well, she is a secret weapon."  
Purple added on, "Yeah, so secret, she doesn't even know that she's a doom weapon..."  
"What does she do?" Zim asked curiously.  
"She... she... um..." Purple started, "Oh no... Zim, we're losing the signal."  
"Really? It looks fine from here." Zim examined the monitor.  
"**I said,** 'We're losing the signal," Purple elbowed Red in the stomach.  
"Ow! What'd you do... I mean... yep, the signal's breaking up..." Red said. Purple made static noises in the background. "Sorry, Zim. We'll call back when it gets better..."  
"Don't call us; we'll call you," Purple added quickly. The screen went blank.  
"But what does she do?" Zim cried.  
"Taco?"  
"Quiet Gir! This is just what we were waiting for! We need to get her a disguise, and a bedroom, and..." as Zim spoke the house grew an extra room off the back. The room was simple; a bed, a chair, a desk. There was a picture of the Parent Decoys smiling on the wall. On the bed, there was a blond wig and a nice blue and white Earthen dress. "Well, that solves our problems." If she is a doom weapon, then the Earth is as good as mine! All mine! "Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" He coughed. "Where was I? Oh, yes… hahahahahahahahahahahahahaHA!"  
Gir stared at Zim. That was a big "Mwahahaha", even for him...  
"Taco…"Meanwhile, Dib was walking home and heard the "Mwahaha"s of Zim.   
"What is he doing?" Dib snuck up to the window of Zim's house, careful not to get too near the gnomes. "This could help me prove that he's an alien! It's a perfect chance. He really is an alien! I know it!" Dib's screaming was almost as loud as Zim's "Mwahaha"s. Zim turned to the window. Dib hid at the last second, ducking down, out of sight. Zim shrugged; there were plenty of annoying things on Earth that made sounds: Cars, squirrels, stray cats...  
"Gir check the window." Gir walked up to the window. He looked up; nothing. He looked down; he saw Dib. He looked up again. Then he realized: He had seen Dib. "Taco!" he cried.  
"Good, if nothing is there, then," Zim started.  
"TACO!"  
What is it, Gir? Let me guess: a squirrel...? A mongoose, maybe? A taco? Just be quiet... we still need to get ready for the Orken."  
"A doom weapon..." Zim stopped and smiled, imagining the flaming scraps of the world under his control. Maybe today wasn't so bad after all.  
"A doom weapon?" Dib echoed from the window. "What is he up to now? And what's an Orken?"

Chapter 2

Sitting in her small space pod, Bea began to wonder what Earth would be like. _Are the inhabitants friendly? Do they have blue skin? Do they even have skin? What was the Invader going to be like? Was he a bully? What if she didn't fit in? What if she failed there too and was sent to be exiled from her exile location?_  
Meanwhile, on Earth, six monthes passed by slowly. Gir had finally started speaking words other than "Taco" and Zim had forgotten about the "doom" Orken that was being sent to him.  
----------  
"Look, it's the new kid," a skool kid pointed.  
"She's an alien," cried Dib.  
"Let's get her!" Zim called.  
Ms. Bitters smiled, "I'll give an "A" to anyone who catches her!"  
Bea began to run as fast as she could. Earth was a dark place. Bea ran out of the building, being followed by the whole skool. As she ran, the town joined in the chase, shouting, "Grab your pitch forks!" The more she tried to run, the more they seemed to be gaining on her. She ran down a dark alley. The angry mob had cornered her; there was no way out. She turned to see an angry group of townspeople holding pitchforks, torches, and sporks threateningly. Dib, who had been leading the chase, stepped forward and cried, "BEEP! Approaching Earth!"  
"Wha...?" Bea got up. She had been dreaming.  
"Approaching Earth!" the computer beeped again.  
"Earth..." Bea whispered to herself. She was there.  
----------  
"Hello?" _Did she have the right address?_ She did admit, she would never have guessed that this was the home of the Irken, but Irkens were cunning and were masters of disguise. The blow fish and the "I love Earth" sign were brilliant.  
"Hello?" she tried again, "I guess that..." but before she could finish, a small silver robot jumped at her. He landed squarely on her head and began jabbering, "Hi, I'm GIR! What's your favorite color? Are you a mongoose? Do you like to dance the hokie-pokie? Have you ever met a robot? What's your name? Are you my friend?"  
Bea responded as soon as he had finished, rattling off the answers, "Nice to meet you Gir, and to answer your questions: I like blue, No, I am not a Goose of Mon, nor do I know that which is the pokie-hokie, I've never met a robot, My name is Bea, and I guess I'm your friend..."  
"HURRAY!" Gir shouted.  
"Gir...What are you doing out of your disguise " a shadow from inside of the house whispered, "Both of you must get inside now unless you want to get the humans after us..."_ Humans? They sounded scary. _Bea grabbed Gir and ran inside the house.  
----------  
"So you are...?" Bea began.  
"Zim, Invader Zim. And you're the doom wea... I mean, Bea, of course," he smiled noticing his error. The Tallest had said that the doom weapon was so secret that even she didn't know. "You've met Gir..." Gir smiled wildly, waving, "And now here's your disguise."  
"Ooo..." Bea poked the blue Earth dress, "It's beautiful..."  
"And here," Zim handed her a blond wig.  
"What's this?" Bea asked.  
"It is called "hair" humans have it on their heads. Strange, I know, but we are to blend in... so..."  
Bea pulled on her dress and wig. The long piece of fake hair flopped in front of her face. "How do humans see?" Bea asked.  
"You have the wig on backwards, Bea."  
"Oh..."  
"And here is your room..." Zim sighed with boredom. When was there going to be doom and destruction?  
"Ooo... it's wonderful!" Bea cried, "I love it! Can I bring in my stuff from my ship?"  
"Okay..." Zim sighed again. _Orkens... jeesh..._  
----------  
"Voila!" Bea showed her newly furnished room to Zim. "I'd been studying Earthen culture on the voyage here so I think it blends pretty well."  
Zim looked at the room. A large llama topiary sat in one corner. Bea's bed was covered in oddly shaped pillows and blankets made of duct tape. A pile of rubber ducks sat in the middle of the room. Streamers of all colors hung from the ceiling. An office cubical was in the corner with a computer. Hamster tubs ran around the room, twenty-three guinea pigs running about in them. One wall was completely tie-dyed.   
Zim was breathless. "You... you did all of this...? This is truly an amazing replica of human life!"

Chapter 3

"Come, Bea, we must go to school!" Zim called.  
"What's school?" Bea called back.  
"It's a place for Earthling offspring to learn things..."  
"Great!" Bea cried. She was fascinated by Earthen culture. It was so exotic.  
Zim and Bea walked to school. Bea kept asking questions about school. Zim was screaming in his head. She asked if he thought the class would like the cookies she baked and if they were going to grow flowers in class... _This_ was a doom weapon?  
The skool was in sight. "Oh, and Bea whatever you do, don't tell anyone that you're an..."  
"ALIEN!" Dib cried from the skool yard, "Look! It's another alien!" All of the children turned for a second, but then groaned and kept going towards the skool.  
"Actually," Bea called back loud enough for everyone to hear her, "Yes, I am an alien. I'm interested in learning more about your culture." She smiled nicely and waited for an answer. All of the students turned back. _Could it be? Was Dib actually right?_ Zim slapped his hand against his face. The whole mission was jeopardized. He hollered to everyone, too, "Yes, she is an alien. She's my cousin from… um… Scotland. So... she's a _legal_ alien. And she wants to learn about _American_ culture. Meaning that she's not a space alien. There's no way that she came from a far off moon to here in a space ship or that she is a doom machine that will destroy you all..." It was Zim's turn to smile. He had covered very well.  
"Aren't Scottish people supposed to have accents and play bagpipes?" Zita called out suspiciously.  
Zim retorted, "Who are you going to believe, me, or that crazy Dib?"  
"He's got a point. Dib is definitely crazy..." Zita started.  
The bell rang. All of the students filed in. As they were walking to Ms. Bitter's room, a pretty girl in a green dress walked up to Bea.  
She said, "Hi! I'm Maz. And you're...?"  
"Bea." Bea smiled, "Nice to meet you, Maz."  
Ms. Bitters made Bea stand and give a speech. "Hi... My name is Bea, and I'm an alie..." Zim glared at her, "I mean, I'm Scottish and this is my cousin, Zim. I want to make friends here." She smiled (Nobody smiled back, but Maz.) and continued, "I brought cookies!" (Everyone smiled, but Zim.).

The ambulance was at the skool in five minutes. Five children went to the hospital for food poisoning. Everyone was angry at Bea for "poisoning" them but Maz (who really doesn't _get_ mad unless you really tick her off), Zim (who was very happy that his doom weapon had powers), and Ms. Bitters (who gave Bea an "A" for creative presentation of doom. No one was more miserable than Bea, though. She was crushed that her cookies were, yet again, a horror.


End file.
